Sex And Consent - How To Make Sexy Okay In 2019
Author: Ellen Date Posted:2 December 2018
In an age of consent being the subject of news reports and court cases, it seems to have fallen into the distinctly unsexy category of annoying legal obligation. Now the public enemy of young and old men alike (scary times guys!) it seems safer to stay home with your best sex toys. But consent is core to a filthy and fabulous sex life. Verbalising exactly what you want loudly and proudly is where it’s at, and it doesn’t have to be intimidating. When you break it down, consent is just dirty talk, and nothing gets sexy times off the ground as fast as arousing the mind.
Not sure where to start without blushing? I’m sure we’d all agree, “Do you want to have sexual intercourse right now? …. What about now? Shall I continue?” wouldn’t exactly get you hot under the collar. Of course, different strokes for different folks. Maybe that’s super hot for you. Who am I to judge?
The best way to start is always with a clear, explicit question that expresses your desires: “Can I lick your nipples?”. Or you speaking up, “Please lick my nipples right now?”. Immediately it’s clear what both parties want and there’s an opportunity to respond. As you grow more confident, take it next level and add your most endearing/exciting language, “Do you want me to lick your hard pink nipples you dirty little trollop?”.
It doesn’t have to be a question though, a statement works like a charm too. “I want to use your vibrator on you,” is a pretty clear directional statement. Not your thing? “I want you to use my 7 inch dildo.”
No matter how loud, wet and messy things have gotten, it never hurts to confirm how it’s feeling. Whether it’s, “Hells yes! This feels amazing! Don’t stop!” or, “Do you like my fingers inside you?” both parties remain on the same page about how your sexy times are progressing. Keeping it simple to begin with will take the embarrassment out of your self expression until you build in confidence.
In no time, explicit consent will become as comfortable as asking your barista, “Can I get a decaf soy latte in my keepcup?” And it’s hotter than that latte too.