What age should I get married?

Author: James  

 

Have you left it too late?

Single women discussing marriage

There's a fine line between leaving the party early and missing the boat.

For Australian women, if you're 29 and unmarried without a partner, you may well have left it too late. For the guys, it's 32. That's according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, anyway.

Data from the 2011 Census, (you know, the last one that actually worked), says that's the age when more than half of your friends will be married.

The downsides if you're not shacked up are obvious. Those married friends we grew up with now have different interests. They're not likely to be running shotgun as your wingman at the club or even heading out for a big night with the girls.

They're at a different stage in their lives, and that's cool, but it doesn't exactly make it easy for you to meet someone when your social group is rapidly shrinking and social occasions consist of brunch with their kids.

It's a double whammy for those of us who held off hanging up the boots just because we enjoyed those exciting days and nights so much.

So is the old adage true? Are "all the good ones taken"?

Of course not. Does it make it harder to find a special someone? Probably.

Interestingly, and perhaps obviously, the stats say we've got about five more years to find our way than we had in the '80s. Most women were married by 25, something that seems preposterous for the millennial generation.

The good news is, that means more of us are attending university, engaging in the work force and enjoying life before settling down.

The divorce rate is also on a downward trend. In the last 20 years, the amount of divorces granted has declined from 2.8 to 2.0 separations per 1000 Australian residents.

We're also staying together longer. In 1987, the average time between marriage and separation was 7.4 years. That's pushed out to 8.5 now.

 

Try before you buy

 

Much of that can be put down to our changing lifestyles, our new found ability to experiment with the world around us and what's out there.

Co-habitation before marriage is playing no small part. In 2015, 81% of us lived together before marriage, up from 25% in 1977, an enormous increase in anyone's language.

"You've got to live together for a year before you can get married," is easily some of the best advice I've ever received.

It seems those people who hold off until they've ticked all the boxes they need to before committing are actually far more likely to experience that long term marital bliss.

 

It's not you, it's me

 

For many young (and old) Aussies, it's usually not just about not being able to find the right one. It really is about us.

We live in a time and place where people have the opportunity to be selfish. And that's not necessarily a bad thing.

Where before most young adults would jump at the first good thing, they now have the chance to become genuinely independent, to "find themselves" as they say.

They're learning how to cope with hardship, disappointment, financial woes and of course all the wonderful moments along the way, which surely set them up to be better equipped spouses in the long term.

 

The sex part...

how-to-spice-up-a-marriage

Like it or not, the seven-year-itch is a thing. The ABS statistics above show it to be true, though now it's an 8.5-year situation. 

There's no doubt that those who hold off marriage until later in life, until they've "scratched the itch", are more likely to feel sexually content in their relationships than those who choose not to.

And let's not jump to conclusions about it just being young men who need get their rocks off before settling down, it's all of us.

ESPECIALLY middle aged, married women. We've all heard that a woman's sex life truly starts at 40 and we've all heard the stories. Keeping the passion alive in a long-term marriage is no doubt crucial to happily ever after.

 

Does it really matter if and when I marry?

 

Well that's up to you, of course.

The key to a happy life and (sex life) is making the most of your situation, whether it be single, married, divorced, old, young.

Enjoying sex with your spouse or multiple partners? Keep it going. Spice things up.

Not happy with how things are going? Make an effort to bring the magic back.

Happy by yourself and enjoying your own company? Brilliant!

There isn't one definitive answer to "when?", but it seems pretty obvious that making the most of what you have at the time will always lead to good things.

 


Leave a comment

Comments have to be approved before showing up